His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize