whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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