thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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