Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
