I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
