when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
