Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
