I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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