I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Boobs are out for the taking
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
