I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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