: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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