What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
