I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
