It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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