You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
