Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
