Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
