can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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