Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
