Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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