When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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