That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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