Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
