I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize