I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
