I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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