If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
