i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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