@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
