Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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