Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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