I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.