went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
