Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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