Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
