so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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