my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
