is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
