But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
