is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
