Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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