i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
