I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
