Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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