Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
