Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
