So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
