ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
