My friends, they love my intelligence
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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