My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
honey bunches of taint.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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