i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
