Do vagina's smell?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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