Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
