So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
