Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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