So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
