um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize