we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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