When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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