omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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