come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
